The Innkeeper Chronicles: Innkeeper InnSight, Volume 5

            ConfessInns:
      The Innkeeper Chronicles
                                  Secrets Unleashed

Innkeeper InnSight, Volume 5

Let’s Check-In, shall we?

I Must Confess…

Life at the Inn during Cold & Flu Season is a grueling daily struggle to stave off unwanted bodily invaders. Whether cold, flu or flesh-eating virus, I find maintaining a ‘germ-free’ work environment is an uphill battle. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s more like a complete vertical incline, up a series of steep cliffs with mountain lions roaring for their lunch at each new level.

Knowing this invisible and shape-shifting enemy as I do, an offensive plan of attack is ruled out, as it would likely prove to be a wasted effort to hunt down each germ individually. So I go straight to the defense with a hoard of preventative measures: Hand sanitizes line ever counter, bookshelf and computer work station. Every few hours the staff and I systematically sterilize the phones, door knobs and keyboards with disinfecting wipes and ingest an assortment of vitamins and lozenges just as frequently.

I wonder sometimes if the stench of alcohol in the air and chalk in our mouths are even worth the effort. Our safe walls of protection are fleeting as the enemy lurks around every corner and takes different forms throughout the day. It could be a friendly hand shake, a borrowed pen or a sudden blast of mucus going 100 miles per hour from a stranger’s nose, in a closed elevator! Yes, every day is a fight, but if a bad day were a battle, then today was all out war!

Major combat hit its peak as I walked down the first floor hallway after leaving the restroom. I was pleased with myself for having maneuvered my way from start to finish with only a flexible foot and talented elbow. As I turned a corner, I noticed a woman walking briskly in my direction. I paid closer attention as I saw she was awkwardly carrying a bundle of bed sheets extended away from her body, as far as her arms would stretch. As we drew even closer, a child appeared just a few hurried steps behind her, crying out “Mommy, mommy - no good, no good!”

“Are you alright, ma’am?” I asked cautiously.

“Oh, yes. Are you the manager here?” she replied with a panting, raspy voice.

I turned my head slightly away from her immediate direction to avoid any unwanted exchange of microbes carried through the air by her heavy breathing. “Yes, how can I help you?”

Her bloodshot eyes showed a sign of relief, then without warning she pushed the sheets into my arms and said, “My son has been sick all night and threw-up in the bed, can you send replacements?”

A few seconds passed before I responded or took a full breath as I imagined the cesspool of germs sending in the troops for a full body invasion. Biting the edge of my lip, I finally uttered, “What’s the room number?”

The woman took a moment to answer back. Her attention was focused on the child, who had now caught up and was pulled at her pant leg. “No good,” he whimpered and gurgled.

No good, indeed. I have to give the kid credit though, he knew exactly what he was talking about; in his own little way he tried to warn us. I’m sure if he were old enough to articulate himself more clearly at that moment, he would have said, “Hey, mom! You think that was bad, check this out!”

His head rolled back and his eyes dropped shut, then he let out a blood curdling gag and covered my pants in regurgitated crackers and apple juice.

With my fate sealed, I begrudgingly sloshed to the Housekeeping Department to clean up and hoist the white flag of defeat.

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Burning Question of the Week

You ask, I answer. Here’s the burning question the week:

What happens to a hotel in extreme winter weather if no one can get to work?

The Answer: This is a common issue with a common solution. Hoteliers will often ask their employees to stay at the hotel overnight to ensure key staffing positions during extreme weather periods. No charge of coarse!

Weekly Whisper

Shhh. You didn't hear this from me, but the next New Chronicle will be spicy...in more ways than one.

Thank-you

Have a safe and healthy weekend - sleep well!

~The Innkeeper

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