“Everyone loves to talk about celebrities,” is one of the very few statements in life that can be made with guiltless disregard for generalities or even the need for a second thought. The reason: It is undeniably true, without exception; no matter who you are or what you do.

Teenage girls have and always will fawn over the likes of Donny Osmond, John Stamos, the Hanson brothers or Justin Beiber, whichever one, or ones like them  is considered “so hot” during their formative crush years…and maybe twenty-five years later at the reunion concert too. Likewise, I have known grown men that can’t ever seem to find the time to patch the hole in their roof before peak rain season hits, but they effortlessly memorize the names, numbers and positions for entire sports team rosters so they can keep up with their buddies down at their favorite sports bar. If fact, even celebrities love to talk about other celebrities; each with their own long-time Hollywood idols that inspired them to success and plenty of rival careers to disparage as well. And who could deny that the Pope himself dotes constantly on a certain famous celebrity? After all, his position itself affirms him as the #1 Fan doesn’t it?

Innkeepers like me are no different; if you get than one of us in the same room for a given period of time the subject is bound to come up. Additionally, hotels offer a great amount of opportunity for sightings, encounters and confrontations, no matter its brand or location. Performers, politicians, athletes and religious figures travel quite frequently and show up in some pretty unexpected places. This is primarily due to their burdened, chaotic and inconsistent schedules and lifestyles. Assistants and travel coordinators may develop favorites based on details of location or cost, but when it comes to booking hotels most are plausible locales.

The topic of celebrities for an innkeeper is a much broader subject than you may initially expect, as I realized while I began writing, documenting and organizing a category for it in the Innkeeper Chronicles. I discovered that I would have to consider three distinct sub-categories of ‘celebrity’ in order to create a complete picture. For the purposes of my job, ‘celebrity’ really just denotes importance; a person that is particularly important for some reason beyond the standard level of ass-kissing. It really amounts to being a VIP; an artificial, society-created class above the rest. For the sake of argument, let’s define a VIP more clearly though:

VIP (Very Important Person) – A person of extraordinary importance or influence who commands special treatment due to their recognition for achieving success through fame, wealth or title of dignitary.

The first VIP tier is the authentic “VIP Encounter”, which involves coming face-to-face with a truly important person; see definition above.  Special allowances, accommodations and security are to be expected for a true VIP. That’s not to say that laws are broken necessarily or that any other guests are treated badly by comparison, but special considerations will be made because a hotel can benefit via notoriety and reputation from having been successful in hosting a VIP guest and the certainty of obtaining additional revenue (budgets for VIP travel is usually larger by multiple times compared to that of standard travelers.) And let’s not forget to mention the autographs, memorabilia and life-long bragging rights for some staff members.

Secondly, there are people that only think they are important; they suffer from a condition I call “VIP Syndrome.” This group of guests feels they should be afforded additional and unfounded exceptions based on some various contrived sense of entitlement. They start their check-ins clouded with ego and use it to pull and stretch their service limitations. They might be in a position of authority within their company or recently received an accolade therein; perhaps they are a platinum or diamond credit card holder or just spent a mortgage payment on a treasure trove of plastic surgery for their face and neck. Whatever the mistaken reason for their self-admiration, they use it to gripe and complain about parking fees, room service menus, and complimentary items and services or lack thereof; they make unreasonable late-checkout requests and ask for private fitness center and pool facility time; they freely share their genius opinions about what they would do if they were running a hotel and let’s not forget the endearing way they end every exchange with passive-aggressive statements about not coming back, filling out bad surveys or spreading nasty reviews to friends, family and co-workers.

Finally, we have people with a “VIP Agenda”; those that claim to be closely related to an actual important person. For every movie star or US Senator I’ve had the pleasure or displeasure of crossing paths with, there are hundreds of supposed brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts & uncles, 3^rd grade teachers and ex-college roommates that have commanded the same respect. Those coattail-riding name droppers try every angle to get something for nothing in the name of someone else. They naively ask for and expect access and information about their alleged VIP relatives with delusional confidence. Was there ever a time when people took others at their word? If so, it’s this group that ruined all that.    

I hope I have been able to provide a clearer understanding for these distinct VIP classifications as I will be posting endless MB of space in the future for each category respectively – I do after all, love to talk about celebrities…even if the notoriety exists only in their heads.      

~The Innkeeper