The Innkeeper Chronicles
Spice Of Life
As I recall, it was a warm and tranquil scene: I lounged comfortably in a hammock, swaying in the gentle afternoon breeze, gazing out on the beautiful beach painted with pearly white sand and mighty blue waves, both of which collided together in the distance. I held a fruity tropical drink dressed with a little umbrella and a long curly straw which bent and twisted in all directions. Some native island girls soon appeared and began what must have been a sacred island dance passed down through the generations which they now performed strictly in my honor. It was bliss, it was paradise, it was near euphoria... except for the band.
I hardly noticed the music at first, a local group I figured. Their funky-sounding beats playing softly in the distance were steadily growing louder, and after a short while I grew quite tired of it. I kept thinking how familiar it sounded, yet I couldn’t name it and deeply wanted it silenced. I turned my head in all directions looking for the source of the music, but saw no stage, no instruments, no band. “What is this song!?” I thought, “Where is it coming from!?”
Then, as the minor annoyance grew to an unbearable irritation, I had a moment of clarity...My cell phone! My eyes peeled open as I sat up in bed, I read the screen, Incoming Call: The Inn.
I have had an innumerable amount of dreams squashed to dust over the years and it never gets any less disappointing. Fortunately, on this night, the dream-wrecking call that came just after three o’clock in the morning delivered a small dose of amusement for my troubles...
Lois, the Inn’s part-time Night Auditor, was working the Front Desk when a male guest shuffled up wearing no more than a tiny guest room face cloth, which he gripped tightly over his crotch with one hand. His eyes were bright red and he appeared to be crying. Furthermore, there were little pink burns around his neck and chunks of wax in his chest hair. With no mention of his present condition, including the fact that he was severely under-dressed, he flailed his one free hand and yelled, “Help, the room is on fire!”
Lois immediately ran to the fire control panel in the back office to look for the alarms and saw there were none. She returned to the Front Desk to attempt to calm the man down and get a complete story, but he was gone. Within minutes, the Inn’s fire alarms were sounding and the parking lot filled with fire trucks, paramedics and a few hundred angry guests suffering from a worse wake-up call than I received!
I arrived at the Inn within the hour. To my horror I spotted someone being loaded into the back of an ambulance as I pulled in. I jogged from my parking spot to the entrance, where the Fire Marshall stood laughing with a pair cops and Lois. “What happened here?” I asked.
And so came the story of Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey from Room #428, who on their thirteen wedding anniversary decided they needed to put some spice back into their relationship. On a whim, they had left the children with their grandparents for the night, skipped their stale and predictable dinner plans at some fancy restaurant and instead, headed to Inn for a night of romance... only after a quick stop at the grocery store. It seemed that one of the two, (no one could be completely sure which of Humphreys in particular) had instigated the idea that experimenting with food in the bedroom would bring back their lost spark of love and lust.
Their plan was flawed. Somehow along the way of experimenting they had managed to chafe their skin with peanut butter, mat their hair with sticky honey and burn their eyes with Tabasco sauce. Whip cream, raw cookie dough and an assortment of whole garden vegetables dotted the room even as we spoke.
Dumbfounded, I riddled off a series of questions: “How did they start a fire?" - “Did they try cooking after all that?” - “Who was hurt?”
Apparently, the turning point came with the Tabasco sauce which ended up leaking not only into Mr. Humphrey’s eyes, but also his crotch. Trying to salvage the mood he suggested putting away the groceries to attempt the less painful prospect of candle wax.
Sadly, Mr. Humphrey’s idea of his own pain threshold was greatly overestimated.
With one eye closed and watering from her own interaction with the Tabasco, Mrs. Humphrey tipped the crown of a lit candle and seductively dripped hot wax on her husband’s chest. He immediately screamed, jumped up and kicked the candle out of his wife’s hand and into the drapes. He leapt to the bathroom, grabbed the only clean towel he could find (that tiny face cloth) and ran to the Front Desk for help. Only after telling Lois about the fire, he realized he left his wife and ran back to get her.
“Wow,” I said, stunned, frozen in place and slightly amused. “How bad was the fire?”
“Not bad at all. Mostly smoke, but we’ve cleared the other guests to return to there rooms,” the Fire Marshall said grinning.
“Who went to the hospital, are they okay?” I asked.
“Both of them them went in for burns... unrelated to the fire,” one cop said.
“I would have rather sat in the flames,” said another.
~The Innkeeper
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Special BulletInn: Day of Dreams
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Innkeeper Chronicle for this important message from the Innkeeper:
(Cue dramatic newsroom music here.)
In commemoration and celebration of the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, this week’s new Innkeeper Chronicle will be postponed until tomorrow: Tuesday, January 18th.
I hope my readers will take a few moments to remember this prolific and heroic civil rights leader who dedicated his life to spreading the message of peace and freedom around the world.
Here are a few interesting and inspirational stories I've been reading today:
Dr. King's inspired by his time in Connecticut. - AP News
iReport, How did MLK get his name? - CNN
Martin Luther King Jr, A day of service. - Baltimore Sun
Sleep and Dream well,
~The Innkeeper
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Innkeeper InnSight, Volume 5
Let’s Check-In, shall we?
I Must Confess…
Life at the Inn during Cold & Flu Season is a grueling daily struggle to stave off unwanted bodily invaders. Whether cold, flu or flesh-eating virus, I find maintaining a ‘germ-free’ work environment is an uphill battle. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s more like a complete vertical incline, up a series of steep cliffs with mountain lions roaring for their lunch at each new level.
Knowing this invisible and shape-shifting enemy as I do, an offensive plan of attack is ruled out, as it would likely prove to be a wasted effort to hunt down each germ individually. So I go straight to the defense with a hoard of preventative measures: Hand sanitizes line ever counter, bookshelf and computer work station. Every few hours the staff and I systematically sterilize the phones, door knobs and keyboards with disinfecting wipes and ingest an assortment of vitamins and lozenges just as frequently.
I wonder sometimes if the stench of alcohol in the air and chalk in our mouths are even worth the effort. Our safe walls of protection are fleeting as the enemy lurks around every corner and takes different forms throughout the day. It could be a friendly hand shake, a borrowed pen or a sudden blast of mucus going 100 miles per hour from a stranger’s nose, in a closed elevator! Yes, every day is a fight, but if a bad day were a battle, then today was all out war!
Major combat hit its peak as I walked down the first floor hallway after leaving the restroom. I was pleased with myself for having maneuvered my way from start to finish with only a flexible foot and talented elbow. As I turned a corner, I noticed a woman walking briskly in my direction. I paid closer attention as I saw she was awkwardly carrying a bundle of bed sheets extended away from her body, as far as her arms would stretch. As we drew even closer, a child appeared just a few hurried steps behind her, crying out “Mommy, mommy - no good, no good!”
“Are you alright, ma’am?” I asked cautiously.
“Oh, yes. Are you the manager here?” she replied with a panting, raspy voice.
I turned my head slightly away from her immediate direction to avoid any unwanted exchange of microbes carried through the air by her heavy breathing. “Yes, how can I help you?”
Her bloodshot eyes showed a sign of relief, then without warning she pushed the sheets into my arms and said, “My son has been sick all night and threw-up in the bed, can you send replacements?”
A few seconds passed before I responded or took a full breath as I imagined the cesspool of germs sending in the troops for a full body invasion. Biting the edge of my lip, I finally uttered, “What’s the room number?”
The woman took a moment to answer back. Her attention was focused on the child, who had now caught up and was pulled at her pant leg. “No good,” he whimpered and gurgled.
No good, indeed. I have to give the kid credit though, he knew exactly what he was talking about; in his own little way he tried to warn us. I’m sure if he were old enough to articulate himself more clearly at that moment, he would have said, “Hey, mom! You think that was bad, check this out!”
His head rolled back and his eyes dropped shut, then he let out a blood curdling gag and covered my pants in regurgitated crackers and apple juice.
With my fate sealed, I begrudgingly sloshed to the Housekeeping Department to clean up and hoist the white flag of defeat.
Updates & BulletInns
- You can now connect and stay up to date with ConfessInns: The Innkeeper Chronicles through Blog Catalog and Livejournal!
- Do you operate a hospitality, restaurant or travel blog? Please Contact the Innkeeper for link exchanges and networking opportunities with The Innkeeper Chronicles!
Burning Question of the Week
You ask, I answer. Here’s the burning question the week:
What happens to a hotel in extreme winter weather if no one can get to work?
The Answer: This is a common issue with a common solution. Hoteliers will often ask their employees to stay at the hotel overnight to ensure key staffing positions during extreme weather periods. No charge of coarse!
Weekly Whisper
Shhh. You didn't hear this from me, but the next New Chronicle will be spicy...in more ways than one.
Thank-you
Have a safe and healthy weekend - sleep well!
~The Innkeeper
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Excuses, Excuses
The day started off very early. As I drove to the Inn, I noticed the darkened sky from the previous night was still well intact; the sun hadn’t begun to cut any light through it at all. The day was so premature, that when I arrived, the Night Auditor would not yet be relieved from his shift at the Front Desk, the dining room would stand dim and lifeless before the chaotic rush of early breakfast go-ers awoke and the lobby would project a sense of calm, similar only to the quickly passing eye of a tropical storm. These would be the perfect conditions to wrap up a slew of reports that I had been putting off for days...and were due to the corporate office by lunch time! Alas, I had finally run out of time and excuses for putting them off.
I wiped the final remnants from the Sandman’s duties out of my eyes as the lobby doors slid open and knocked loudly against its medal frame. Sound is different at this time of the morning; it’s amplified. Any afternoon of the week I could walk through those same double doors without a second thought, but at this hour - it might as well have been a shotgun blast!
While doing my best to express as little of the unwarranted terror as I was feeling and hoping that Buck, the Night Auditor did not notice my heart beating out of my chest, I approached the Front Desk and raised an open hand to wave.
“Hey Buck, how was your night?” I asked on the verge of a sweat.
“The usual,” he replied as he looked up from stacking and collating papers. “Pretty quiet except for a some loud arguing in Room #111 around 2AM, but nothing physical; they made up I guess.”
“Well, if there’s nothing pressing at the moment, I will be in my office for a while,” I said as I began to walk away, hoping he would not remember something that would deflect my attention any further.
“A couple call-outs if you want to take them,” he said casually.
“Damn!” I thought, “I knew I shoudn’t have asked.”
Buck reached over to a small yellow notepad and ripped off the top page, “There’s two of them and they’re both newbies: Melissa from the Front Desk and Jeff the new maintenance assistant guy,” he said.
“Damn!” I said out loud.
Call-outs happen all the time, but if the schedule is made well enough and those that do show up for work are well-trained, then it doesn’t have to be a big headache. It’s a little different with newbies though, because it breaks down the training process, wastes a lot of time and increases the work load for everyone else. Plus, it can speak volumes about a new employee’s dedication to their job and their willingness to lie or make excuses.
Ah, excuse, excuses. They’re what got me to the Inn at such an ungodly hour in the first place. I just hoped that their excuses were good ones, considering the jam-packed morning I had in front of me!
I snatched the note from Buck and walked to the office while considering what the makings of a “good excuse” would be on a day like today. I have heard them all, but I expect some quality from new staff members that call-out so early in the morning. If they have called by this time, it was either an absolute emergency or a really pathetic attempt to squeeze in a lame excuse before there were any managers around to speak to directly. Maybe they were worried about having to concoct a “sick voice” or answer any tough questions. Although, there was always the possibility that something legitimately terrible or life-threatening did happened... my mind wondered.
I unlocked the office door, clicked on the light and planted myself behind my desk. With an index finger I pushed the power button to start up the computer and glanced down at my other hand, still holding the folded yellow note - it seemed to taunt me. With much work immediately ahead... I sat silently distracted, contemplating on the myriad of call-out possibilities - trying to pair them with the two staff members.
Melissa seemed like an honest enough lady during the interview and orientation; arriving early for both if I remembered correctly. Chuck, the manager at the Front Desk, hadn’t given me an update yet, but as I passed through the lobby the other day, she seemed very charismatic with the guests in front of her. “Is she revealing her true colors?” I thought.
Jeff was great during his interview, he had more than fifteen years of experience with plumbing and electrical and wasn’t afraid to go into great detail about his work ethic. His references called him a real “man’s man”: early riser, hard-worker and no nonsense kind of guy. Perhaps he and his references had laid it on too thick. “Is he too good to be true?” I pondered.
As my desktop icons began to load, I felt the pressure to make my predictions...
For Melissa I guessed car trouble at first. It’s pretty easy to explain without saying too much. Just mentioning something about an engine light or leaking fluids could buy a nice day off with little effort, especially if she claimed to know very little about cars herself. Then, it occurred to me that a car excuse was more suitable for a last minute call-out, much closer to the time of her shift. I finally settled on an excuse about her children or family falling ill. I was pretty sure she mentioned having a child or two and when a problem arises with children and family it’s usually in the dead of night.
After some debate over Jeff, I figured on some variation of the ‘I’m not feeling well’ excuse. If this was his choice, I had a wide selection of ailments to narrow it down from. I considered giving him points for creativity if he invented a new disease I haven’t heard of, but decided he would lose points with me if it was some type of generic 24-hour flu. Finally, I settled on a middle-of-the-road excuse: “upset stomach”.
I locked-in my final answers, placed my imaginary wagers on the table and opened the yellow note with my thumb; it read:
Melissa called out @ 3:30AM/ Car was broken into overnight; windshield smashed.
Jeff called out @ 4:15Am/ Wife went into labor/ it’s a boy.
And so I must admit - I’m just as good at pairing excuses to employees as I am at pairing winning lotto numbers to the nightly drawing. As predictable as some excuses may be, there is always room brand new ones and you just don’t know who will come back with what!
I picked up a pen and reached for my daily calendar. Just below the bold red reminder for the day's impending deadline, I jotted:
No Excuses:
Melissa - Reschedule hours/Get car details.
Jeff - Send baby card/Ask for pictures.
~The Innkeeper
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Innkeeper InnSight, Volume 4
Let’s Check-In, shall we?
I Must Confess…
The New Year brings no resolutions for this Innkeeper. None what-so-ever. I've learned from past years that neither a minor commitment nor a major proclamation for a lifestyle change actually sticks around for much longer than mid-month anyway.
Nope, I will just abstain and save my energy. No new diets, no grand scheme to reduce my daily TV watching hours and those sky diving lessons will have to wait until I’m truly good and ready for them. I will even accept the fact that I will mistakenly write '2010' on every letter, document and memo until at least February, whereas '2011' will undoubtedly be written over strips of Liquid Paper in the meantime. Isn't it interesting that even with all the build-up and festivities that surround the new year, my mind still suffers from a lapse of this vital information when it comes to something as simple as putting a date on a check.. but I digress.
Now please don’t take my casual disregard for this popular annual tradition as a disregard for the new year entirely though. Actually, I look forward to it with optimism for a number of reasons. Among the top of that list is my work with ConfessInns: The Innkeeper Chronicles.
The anniversay of its inception won't come until April, however 2011 now marks the beginning of the second collection of chronicles - a feat due in no small part to my readers and fans who have aided greatly with its evolution from the beginning. Referring to my most dedicated readers as a 'cult following' may be doing a disservice to cults everywhere and is probably only accurate by measure of its numbers. Still, I appreciate your continued support!
And so, if I must resolve anything at all; if I must put ink to paper (or more appropriately: pixels to screens) - it would definitely be to continue posting my ConfessInns and carry-on expanding the Chronicles' reach & community until the next go-around.
Updates & BulletInns
- Do you have secret? Go to the ConfessInnal and spill your guts! The best will be added to the ConfessInns Lobby and be immortalized as a Five Star ConfessInn. (Begins January, 2011)
- You've got reservations with the Innkeeper, find out when.
- SHARE and BOOKMARK The Innkeeper Chronicles through Facebook, Twitter, Google, Yahoo! and over 300 other services! Choose your favorite today from the toolbox located at the bottom of every post!
Burning Question of the Week
Many inquiries were warm, but here is the burning question the week:
Can the Front Desk tell that I watched dirty movies even though it doesn't print on the bill?
The Answer: Yes. Firstly, the average cost of those dirty movies is twice the cost of a mainstream movie and easily spotted. Secondly, the Front Desk will have direct access to the movie titles you've watched during your stay in case you challenge a charge at checkout - then title can be read aloud to refresh your memory.
Weekly Whisper
Shhh. You didn't hear this from me, but Call-outs are the hot topic of the next Innkeeper Chronicle on Monday.
Thank-you
Happy New Year and sleep well!
~The Innkeeper
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Let Me Count The Ways
Sure, it may often seem insignificant and blend into its background; tucked away in a drawer, stacked on a shelf, perceived as one of many and easily overlooked. But to me, a simple blank sheet of paper can be a little slice of heaven. It’s truly intoxicating with its crisp purity and industrialized fibrous scent - I can’t help but approach nose-first, long before my pen is uncapped, inhaling deeply and wondering what the two of us will create together. Despite this, I am a realist and typically at this point, or some time very shortly after, the reality of my endeavor becomes clear: this alluring canvas of flawlessness is just a cold, barren tundra, crying out to be filled with words. Words that may already exist, though not quite in the same order I must arrange them.
I admit, it is a strange concept, but this torrid relationship has gone on for quite some time. Along the way I learned that, much like any relationship, it can be difficult at times. It is an undertaking that requires a great deal of work and lasting effort. Sometimes the end result is not what you set out for it to be, but more often than not, it comes together somehow. Best of all is a lesson I picked up along the way, from a man named Mr Banister, who exposed a valuable third dimension to one's relationship with a simple sheet of paper.
As the year draws closer to an end, many changes are in store at the Inn. Seasonal adjustments like the outdoor pool and patio areas being closed up and cordoned off until the following Spring. And the violet summer bellflowers on each of the tables in the dining room transforming into bright yellow autumn lilies and then into slender and elegant winter Amaryllis.
Besides changes to the decor however, the typical cycle for the Inn (and most hotels) is that things die down
in the remaining months of the year and a couple into the next. The number of employees goes down as guests and events become scarce. Less hours and fewer days will be available, so part-timers plan to move on to other jobs and weak links are cut along the way. This
works out wonderfully, due to this very typical dip in occupancy, but it's a dip that
will not come this year - and all due to our new Director of Sales. In
three short months, Cheryl has continually maximized the Inn’s
potential and provided a very profitable autumn that will
continue deep into the new year.
What could be the down-side? Well, this unexpected benefit of steady
business was just that - unexpected. Which means that I must now interview, hire and train at least twelve
new employees of varying departments within just a few weeks to keep
up!
I find that an interview can be very revealing when the right questions are asked and for the most part I don’t mind setting aside an afternoon or two to meet and engage individuals that are excited to work hard and be successful. My grievance with the interview process is that I must wade through so many disinterested, ill-prepared and unqualified people wasting my time and their own. To combat this, I take a page from Mr. Banister.
On the first day of an Into to Psychology class, immediately following a brief introduction, the professor began to announce our first assignment of the semester. He peeled of a clean white sheet of copy paper, from a powder blue file folder and handed one to each student.
“Write your name anywhere on this sheet of paper,” he said, then after taking a few moments to glance around the room to ensure we had all complied, “It is very important that you bring this back to me tomorrow,” he instructed.
My classmates and I did not know at the time, but his instructions were actually an underhanded invitation to a psychology experiment. The following day, as we piled into the classroom and started taking our seats, Mr. Banister announced, “Please place your papers here on my desk in a nice neat stack, anyone who has forgotten or lost your paper for whatever reason, come see me right away.”
Only one student had lost their paper, though he suffered no disciplinary action upon this admission that I could see and we were soon given a reading assignment as he studied over our papers. He spent at least a full minute examining each one, blank except for our names - and I was sure he couldn’t be that slow of a reader. When he finished, he stood and confessed his ploy. Based on the condition of the papers, he claimed he could predict our final grades at the end of the semester within 5 points.
Most of us thought he was crazy...and a few were happy to tell him just that. Though he seemed to present a fascinating argument. He chose his words carefully the day before, saying it was important to bring it back, making us express how important we really felt it was to complete the assignment, express how important we were going to take his class and even how we would apply ourselves to the entire course. He seemed certain that an accurate impression of ourselves were left behind as clues in the number of folds, tears, stains, debris, or lack thereof.
Whenever I am faced with the challenge of adding hours of interviews to my schedule, I need to make sure the time is spent wisely. My department heads: Chuck at the Front Desk, Connie in Housekeeping, Ernie in Maintenance or Mack in Food and Beverage, conduct their own first interviews and decide who they would like back. Those selected are given a blank sheet of white paper with a time and date written on it and simple instructions, “It is important that you bring this back for your interview with the Innkeeper.”
I usually cut my meetings in half by the coffee rings alone; my favorites are those that lose their homework. As a side note, Mr. Banister beat his own estimate and guessed our grades within 4 points. It may be no secret that the words on a page reveal a great deal about its author, but the page itself - quite literally, can reveal a great deal more.
~The Innkeeper
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Special BulletInn: The Innkeeper Returns
The New Year brings a time of celebration with new hopes for the future, reflections of times past and the return of The Innkeeper.
(Cue dramatic newsroom music here.)
Beginning this Monday, January 3rd, the Second Collection of Innkeeper Chronicles will debut!!
You can expect the Innkeeper to confess even more extraordinary stories and events revolving around the Inn, its staff and the ever-changing assortment of guests from unique to utterly bizarre.
These new installments are crafted to take you further into the tight-lipped world of hotels as seen through the eyes of the Innkeeper. Collection Two will also hold clues to an underlying mystery at the Inn throughout this second series.
You are cordially invited to satisfy your curiosities with the chronicles... and discover New and Updated features:
ConfessInns Lobby - Displays the Innkeeper's 'Five Star ConfessInns' - chosen from secrets submitted by readers and visitors of ConfessInns.com! Plus: Innspired quotes from notable celebrities, authors, world leaders and more. The ConfessInnal - Share ConfessInns of your own with the Innkeeper and Innkeeper Chronicles Community! Sign our guestbook with your secret today!
~The Innkeeper
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Innkeeper InnSight, Volume 3
Let’s Check-In, shall we?
I Must Confess…
The weekend is officially here and not a moment too soon. Nothing looks quite so nice after a long week, like a calendar reading Friday and a clock reading 5PM. The morning started off with its glitches though, and I doubted the day would end peacefully. Luckily, my outlook changed with a fortunate stoke of luck in just the right place.
If you have ever been a manager, of practically anything - you have probably been responsible for the daily “bank run”. The benefits are deceptive: a short break in the morning to disappear and take a drive. Soon you learn it just means more traffic experiences, long lines and awkward silences filled with elevator music. Actually, that does a disservice to elevator music - truth be told, nothing makes me wish I were in an elevator, listening with bleeding ears to gentle instrumental jams quite like listening to that same music in a long bank line.
When I arrive at the bank, I am entered immediately into a lottery for which teller will be available at the time I happen to emerge from the labyrinth of red ropes. The possibilities: The slow, shy teller, who never really makes eye-contact and counts everything three time at a snails pace; I often wonder if I should just order my lunch to her window. Next is the friendly, quick one, who always makes you feel welcomed and finishes like a good comedian - leaving you wanting more. Finally is the crypt keeper. Actually, that does a disservice to the crypt keeper. This lady has the personality of an over-stressed homicide detective from a bad b-movie. Oh, there’s plenty of eye-contact, so much that I feel as though I am being examined. Her questions are blunt and authoritative, “Is this a three on the slip, or did someone get sloppy with an eight?”
So call it a lottery or a game of human roulette, none-the-less, I am next in line! The slow one is still on her second round of counting, the friendly one is wrapping up a transaction and it looks like the mean one is berating a guy for shorting a change roll by a nickel...I squirm with anticipation. Then, to my extreme pleasure, the friendly one waves me over.
Updates & BulletInns
- Lend the Innkeeper your support through Facebook and by Subscribing to the chronicles.
- Which Visitor-Submitted ConfessInns made it to the top of our list? Make your way to the ConfessInns Lobby to find out today!
Burning Question of the Week
Many inquiries this week, but the burning question seems to be:
How many tales will be posted in Collection Two of The Innkeeper Chronicles and when will the next installment begin ?
The Answer: Fourteen; The exact premier date of Collection Two will be announced at the end of the year. Until, then ConfessInns: The Innkeeper Chronicles websites will experiment with new features and tools. Check back and tell us your thoughts!
Weekly Whisper
Shhh. You didn't hear this from me, but rumor has it that a "ConfessInnal" page is planned for the very near future.
Thank-you
Even if you got stuck with a crypt keeper or two this week - have a great weekend, come back soon and sleep well!
~The Innkeeper
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Karmic Termination
Unless you happen to be a time-traveling cyborg assassin with an Austrian accent, terminations are not any fun at all. This goes for both the person being fired as well as the person doing the firing. Even in cases when the employee has committed an obvious act of insubordination or otherwise gratuitous negative act in the workplace - it is only human to struggle with stripping someone of their finances and general means of living, let alone their daily routines or sense of self-worth. This is not to say that an employer should keep someone on their payroll that stands as a detriment to the business any longer than necessary; I am a firm believer that delaying a deserving termination can only make the situation worse and frankly this delay of the inevitable does no one any good. In my opinion, action should be handled swiftly and with a bit of respect and tact during such unfortunate circumstances.
Aside from a basic sense of human dignity and conscience, there is another extremely important reason for a hotelier to show respect when a termination comes up: the hospitality business is a small world of people with memories like elephants. This is an industry built on networking and contacts, job relocations and department-hopping, buy-outs and mergers…you will meet again and your actions will be remembered.
Case in point:
I recently received an email from my old colleague and friend, Luke Tealy. We had worked together years ago when I served as the weekend manager and he as the Assistance General Manager for a charming extended-stay type hotel. We rarely crossed paths during the work week, however we formed a special bond during a meeting on one occasion, when we voiced our similar disdain for the General Manager’s decisions and handling of the staff as well as the generally dreadful treatment wherein. (A shared loathing such as this tends to draw people together.)
The GM spoke to his employees like peasants sent to serve their King. His language was wrought with foul language, put-downs and negativity. Worst of all was his dependency on fear to gain respect - an effort that is never as fruitful as the opposing side: giving one’s respect in which to earn another’s. In short: he was a despicable ogre and walking Human Resource Claim waiting to happen.
One afternoon, late in the Fall season, trouble was started when Luke had arranged for the landscapers to come in for some leaf removal and final grounds-keeping in preparation for the approaching Winter season. The GM was dismayed…or more accurately - flabbergasted that such decisions were made without his final approval. We can examine both sides of the argument and weigh the appropriate disciplinary action with judgment and reasoning, but given the call I received from Luke that day, it hardly seems worth the time.
I answered my phone while making lunch, which inevitably left a mustard finger print on the ‘talk’ button and subsequent yellow crust in its crevices that never came out, “Hello,” I answered.
A deep exhale came from the other end, “Hey, it's Luke - do you have a minute?”
“Sure, are you at the hotel?” I asked.
“Yeah, just having a final smoke before the execution,” he said with a chuckle.
I hardly let him finish another drag of the cigarette before I shouted, “You think you’re getting canned!?!”
“I know it,” he said with full lungs. “He’s pissed that I set-up some landscaping without him. I was sure he would find something to blow out of proportion; I’m just happy it’s sooner rather than later.”
Luke was not troubled by his pending termination at all. As the AGM, he spent more face-to-face time with the boorish GM than anyone - too much time by his account. With a promise to call me afterward with all the details, Luke hung up and walked the green mile towards his fate.
In true tasteless form, the termination came with a barrage of insults related to job performance and lack of communication, but what pinched a nerve somewhere deep inside Luke was when the GM hurled the final blow, “You might think about the impression you give, with such filthy shoes.”
The words hit Luke’s ear drums like daggers and as if acting upon reflex, his eyes went to his feet. There, on the left shoe, was a glob of grape jelly. Collateral damage from the hour he had spent in the dining room after breakfast, cleaning and resetting tables because two servers called out that day.
Luke told me his only words were, “Who do you think you are?” but he admitted he didn’t stay for the answer.
All these years later we still keep in contact via email and bump into each other at conventions every now and again. In his most recent correspondence, he shared some especially pleasing news…
It’s important to know that Luke continued to work in hotels after his departure. First at a competing hotel in town, then he returned to the same brand in another area of the country. At present, he works as a Quality Inspector for the corporate office. This means he travels the country and carries out surprise inspections on hotels, decides upon scores and relays them back to district managers, which can lead to accolades and in some cases - fines.
As fate would have it, Luke was assigned to a hotel with a familiar face as the General Manager. What followed was the most exhaustive and meticulous inspection one can imagine. Luke penalized the GM for every infraction big and small…even microscopic. No mattress unturned; no dusty storage closet unaccounted for.
With great forethought this time, Luke crafted his departing words and launched them like rockets, “Here’s your copies of the paperwork. You know, if I could take away points for your personal appearance I would have. What kind of impression do you think you are giving the guests with such filthy shoes?”
The GM’s head darted downward; his shoes were covered in dust, debris and cobwebs from the days thorough examination. Before he could look back up, Luke was gone.
~The Innkeeper
*Next Chronicle Post: Thursday*
Innkeeper InnSight, Volume 2
Let’s Check-In, shall we?
I Must Confess…
I stand presently with the shoe planted firmly on the other foot as this upcoming week approaches. In just a few days I will return to my hometown in New England after a lengthy absence and morph from day-to-day hospitality insider to a bonafide traveler and guest. The bulk of my destinations throughout each year are related to business of coarse, which means I have little time to hang around the hotel, catch a local show or relish the delights of room service - all of which I am now determined to fit on the agenda.
The reason for this journey is that my attendance is required for a celebration of my becoming an uncle for the first time. Actually an uncle-in-law and moreover the occasion is technically for the mother-to-be…but who wants to split hairs anyway?
I look forward to visiting with friends and family as well as discovering the changes to the places I knew so well in a time that seems long past. My packing has not yet begun and will likely wait until the night before I depart, though the plans are well laid out for a visit to my favorite little hometown bookstore, lunch at the Italian restaurant around the corner from my childhood home and long scenic drives around the beautiful lakes and orchards that dot the land. I have always been the exploring type and my job has allowed for relocations further and further away from where I started, time and time again. Despite this, or perhaps because of it - it’s going to be nice to voyage back.
Updates & BulletInns
- The Innkeeper Chronicles passed the two month mark this week with the postings of the Chronicles: Bitter-Sweet and What's In A Name?
- With the support of readers, fellow bloggers and recent admittance to select industry directories, the growth in hits, entry views and subscribers have doubled and in some cases tripled since the previous month.
- ConfessInns.com, which provides additional features and news from the Innkeeper, continues to grow with reader participation and enthusiasm. An opportunity will soon be presented for hospitality-type blogs to be featured within the chronicles - check back for more details!
- Responses to Days & Distinctions have yielded positive feedback and have been considered a marvelous improvement to the consistency of this blog. You’ve got a reservation with the Innkeeper!
- Care to Share? If you like what you see here at The Innkeeper Chronicles, please forward a link to a friend and spread the word!
Bonus Blog Discoveries
Banquet Manager - This is a brilliant blog from the banquet niche of the hospitality world. With frequent posts on topics ranging from call-outs to chocolate fountain adventures and pet peeves, this often hysterical blog is a must-see in my estimation.
Bullet Holes In The Mailbox - A wonderfully written blog which reflects the author’s family, friends, memories, opinions and life encounters. Each post is captivating and will send you running to his archives for more.
Weekly Whisper
Shhh. You didn't hear this from me, but rumor has it that this Monday's Chronicle will focus on employee terminations. This will be the final chronicle in Collection One of ConfessInns: The Innkeeper Chronicles.
Thank-you
My continued thanks goes out for all the support, comments and link-backs I have received. I look forward to remaining a frequent stop for you on your journeys of the road and web. Sleep well!
~The Innkeeper
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